Millionaire Tries To Make A Bond Film - Its Unintentionally Hilarious!

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  • Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @crappyfilmfans
    @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +236

    This one took around 40 hours to de-code, write and edit - this master piece of...
    Please show the video some love and share it. Heres more of the same roasts of the worst movies/shows: ruclips.net/video/3XjYxJHf9IA/видео.htmlsi=JK7v0WoedYUy5nIo
    Crappy x

    • @stellviahohenheim
      @stellviahohenheim Год назад +3

      Good job guy, just ignore the haters they're probably writing comments on the ipads their parents gave them

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +4

      thank you broski, i love the odd hater, gives me more trolling time :)

    • @ANDunn-tf6xp
      @ANDunn-tf6xp Год назад +1

      This story is about my life 😮 I am the perfect man with classy hats and women find me irresistible...I topple guv'ments with my stare and make terrorists into pacifists with one blink of my eye

    • @fwdcnorac8574
      @fwdcnorac8574 Год назад

      @@stellviahohenheim It still feeds the algorithm. Let them.

    • @ricardolorrio8228
      @ricardolorrio8228 Год назад +1

      even the Irish hated it....

  • @Wfalen
    @Wfalen Год назад +842

    Only thing this movie lacks, is Flatley coming up with a completely new martial art based on tap dancing that makes him the greatest fighter on earth.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +32

      That’s in the second one

    • @Keth417
      @Keth417 Год назад +20

      What?There's no dancing? I'm out!

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +7

      @@Keth417 Me too!

    • @shuboy05
      @shuboy05 9 месяцев назад +13

      Sadly Michael has completely retired from dancing due to health problems. Which sadly means no dance battle with Eric Roberts.....

    • @Huly241072
      @Huly241072 8 месяцев назад +20

      He should do a remake of Gymkata but with tap

  • @botz77
    @botz77 Год назад +61

    You can't do a line like "Bless me Father for I have sinned, and I'm about to sin again." and not have him immediately kill the priest. So lame.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +4

      Deffo woulda been better if he kicked the priest off a cliff

  • @enigmadrath1780
    @enigmadrath1780 Год назад +638

    "Bless me father for I have sinned ....... and am about to sin again."
    The fact that he didn't immediately follow that up by punching the priest is the real sin. Couldn't even give me that, movie??

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +58

      Now that would be badass especially if he followed it up with a 300 style drop kick. But no the priest just ushers him away

    • @c.a.sahlin7836
      @c.a.sahlin7836 Год назад +15

      Had captions on while watching and got the line "Bless me father for I have sinned ... and I'm about to sing again", which added a nice twist.

    • @helvete_ingres4717
      @helvete_ingres4717 Год назад +4

      you cannot deny - that is a badass line

    • @RuailleBuaille
      @RuailleBuaille Год назад +7

      ​@@crappyfilmfans if you're looking for a movie with action more along those lines, there's another awful one made by another Irish "celeb" back in the 90s 😂
      Don't know if you've ever heard of Boyzone, but one of the band members stars on a film called "Fatal Deviation" about... ninja monks in Ireland?
      Another wojus movie, in the so bad it's almost good category.

    • @luzmaria5006
      @luzmaria5006 Год назад +5

      That line is line to when you will kill someone. If he killed the priest it would be quite a badass line but he TED talk the priest LOL

  • @paulkingMotion
    @paulkingMotion Год назад +1304

    Yeah, here in Ireland, it's pretty well known that Michael Flately's ego is so big, it almost makes Bono look level headed.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +127

      Damn, imagine him and Bono in a lift

    • @paulkingdesign5928
      @paulkingdesign5928 Год назад +11

      ​@@crappyfilmfans😂😂

    • @razor6552
      @razor6552 Год назад +47

      I propose an Irish flag with a large Flatley and Bono on it and a very small St Patrick

    • @razor6552
      @razor6552 Год назад +18

      ​@@crappyfilmfans
      "I am the greatest that's ever been!"
      "Who are you again?"
      "I'll do you for that!"
      "Go ahead, if ya can"

    • @paulkingdesign5928
      @paulkingdesign5928 Год назад +2

      @@razor6552 😂😂

  • @burningdaylights
    @burningdaylights Год назад +203

    "Flatley, my dear, I don't river dance!" --Alan Partridge

  • @garrick3727
    @garrick3727 3 месяца назад +581

    In Flately's defence, in western Ireland we don't need clouds for rain. It just rains when it feels like it, usually every five minutes.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  2 месяца назад +37

      Haha fair play, most accurate part of the movie then

    • @mypalfootfoot9591
      @mypalfootfoot9591 2 месяца назад +5

      @@crappyfilmfans maybe but not the part where the rain falls only where he's walking!

    • @tbuckley2031
      @tbuckley2031 2 месяца назад +6

      I’ve seen footage and it’s kinda creepy like yall got cursed or something

    • @daveinpublic
      @daveinpublic 2 месяца назад

      Same, I’ve seen that type of partial sky partial rain thing but not in Ireland

    • @gamingweasel4633
      @gamingweasel4633 2 месяца назад +2

      @@mypalfootfoot9591 They obviously used a lawn-sprinkler for that scene. Just ONE sprinkler.

  • @shivalishankersharma1562
    @shivalishankersharma1562 Год назад +985

    Finally, someone who can give Seagal some competition

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +37

      Long awaited!

    • @patriklindholm7576
      @patriklindholm7576 Год назад +25

      Perhaps they could produce a movie together, script and all.

    • @hafirenggayuda
      @hafirenggayuda Год назад +19

      Eh, Flateley is not as perverted or scummy as Seagal, at least like shown in this movie.

    • @Mintylight
      @Mintylight Год назад +9

      The women in this guys films seem to be over 16 though, so, you know...

    • @fuqupal
      @fuqupal Год назад

      Hahahaha! Nah! That's impossible!

  • @davidtatro7457
    @davidtatro7457 Год назад +434

    Fun video! Let's give Eric Roberts some props here. The man knows what his life has been. He knows he had a shot at being an A-lister and ruined it. And now he's gotten himself together and happily gives his all to every one of the hundred or so two-bit, sleazy villains he plays every year, without irony. No matter how bad the script. He's a hard-working guy now and deserves the living he is making doing B movies. And he still occasionally gets some roles in bigger films like Dark Knight. Respect.

    • @markw110
      @markw110 Год назад +53

      His role as the bad guy in the Mr. Brightside video is genuinely brilliant...and will go down in pop culture history. That's more than most actors...other than the kick ass song...he's certainly the most memorable thing from the music video

    • @successsystem2468
      @successsystem2468 Год назад +7

      💯

    • @laartwork
      @laartwork Год назад +26

      2 oscar nominations in his first few years. Yes he pissed away his chance.

    • @schmodedo
      @schmodedo Год назад +11

      Like a better Stephen Baldwin.

    • @ericwiddison7523
      @ericwiddison7523 Год назад +50

      Eric Roberts elevates every film he appears in partly because he's a legitimately talented actor, and partly because he does so many bad movies.

  • @EmlynBoyle
    @EmlynBoyle Год назад +322

    I have a friend who attended the press screening of this, here in Ireland. He said the crowd were mostly roaring with laughter...I've nothing against Michael Flatley personally, but the sheer ego on display here is staggering. He's like Tommy Wiseau, but with far more money and even less talent (bar his dancing skills).

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +38

      I watched a few YT vids of people who were in a press screening and it sounds hilarious. There was also a 2018 screening closed to the press. THAT is the copy of the film I’d like to see

    • @ricardolorrio8228
      @ricardolorrio8228 Год назад +5

      I think the word you are looking for is "ejet"

    • @PungiFungi
      @PungiFungi Год назад +2

      So I am assuming this film was not funny intentionally

    • @colmwhateveryoulike3240
      @colmwhateveryoulike3240 Год назад +20

      I wonder if the laughter fell Flatley on Michael's ears.

    • @crimsonhawk4912
      @crimsonhawk4912 Год назад +11

      He showed that to Ireland?! Lmfao. He fucked up bad

  • @mrnelsonius5631
    @mrnelsonius5631 Год назад +139

    Imagine working on this for years, telling this rich dude “it’s gonna be great! You’re a visionary” just to fleece this guy out of his vanity bucks. No judgement, I’d work on a production like this. Job’s a job.

  • @JckSwan
    @JckSwan Год назад +727

    Hell, if I were a multi-millionaire I might indulge in this kind of narcissism as well. Good luck to him.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +71

      Yeah especially if he amuses us!

    • @bring-out
      @bring-out Год назад +11

      Some people have no sense, unfortunately. Or fortunately, as it's funny.

    • @kaibotski4939
      @kaibotski4939 Год назад +14

      I'd just do it to hurt people's heads because that's the whole point of having fuck you money.

    • @markuss4133
      @markuss4133 Год назад

      Aha

    • @crimsonhawk4912
      @crimsonhawk4912 Год назад

      Some gay batman pornography

  • @razor6552
    @razor6552 Год назад +90

    He was totally unconvincing as a man standing by a window.

  • @motaman8074
    @motaman8074 Год назад +100

    I'm going to buy another hat

  • @Ray-M59
    @Ray-M59 21 день назад +5

    “Blouse wearing tycoon Michael Flatley”- Alan Partridge’s perfect description. Great video!

  • @fourmilier.
    @fourmilier. Год назад +184

    I hear that there is a sequel to 'Blackbird'. I believe the working title is 'Turkey'.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +13

      🦃 🦃 🎩

    • @CallMeMrStopmotion
      @CallMeMrStopmotion Год назад +5

      The sequel "Whiteturkey"will be released next year at your local mitzvah
      Also gonna remake this movie just to make sequels with names based on colors and birds

    • @markbuckley5109
      @markbuckley5109 2 месяца назад +1

      Well, maybe buy the DVD for when you get the person you don't like in the secret Santa

    • @sandytraveller85
      @sandytraveller85 2 месяца назад +2

      Blackbird 2: Overcooked

    • @AsadKhan-lm6yr
      @AsadKhan-lm6yr Месяц назад +1

      Lol

  • @randyrcook
    @randyrcook 2 месяца назад +50

    Still more entertaining than anything Disney has done lately.

  • @nialloconnor1490
    @nialloconnor1490 Год назад +93

    I was a little thrown back that he wore his hat at an angle at his own wife's funeral. Like he was worried if he looked trendy enough

    • @Novastar.SaberCombat
      @Novastar.SaberCombat Год назад +3

      Image is everything to the token narcissist, so... yup! He was most likely quite concerned with his appearance.

    • @mummyjohn
      @mummyjohn Год назад +5

      it's simply how hats are worn, get over it

    • @sg-yq8pm
      @sg-yq8pm 11 дней назад

      @@mummyjohn it's how hats are worn jauntily you twit

  • @a-man2530
    @a-man2530 Год назад +74

    I'm an actual neighbor of Michael Flatley, his mansion is 5 mins from my family home! Its so weird to see such fimilar sights in a "movie". I haven't seen Blackbird yet but it looks like glorious shite.

    • @EsteemedReptile
      @EsteemedReptile Год назад +14

      Tell him I think his hat is silly

    • @a-man2530
      @a-man2530 Год назад +13

      @@EsteemedReptileNo bother! I'll tell him the movie is bollocks too

    • @hughjass8430
      @hughjass8430 Год назад +2

      Tell him "Go home Yank!"

    • @a-man2530
      @a-man2530 2 месяца назад +6

      ​@hughjass8430 believe it or not, he is a nice man!

    • @richardhall5489
      @richardhall5489 2 месяца назад +3

      "Glorious Shite" is a great term. It would be nice as a chapter title in an Irish movie.

  • @LobsterPuncher
    @LobsterPuncher Год назад +183

    This is the kind of movie that makes me feel genuine second hand embarrassment.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +11

      The Cringe is strong with this one...

    • @mummyjohn
      @mummyjohn Год назад +1

      it's so weird that that is a thing that even exists, let alone commonplace enough to have a name

    • @Laceykat66
      @Laceykat66 Год назад

      I disagree. Most of my rainy Saturday afternoons were spent watching foreign sapy films that were basically all like this. They were a fun way to get through the day and I remember them fondly. They don't make "Drive-In fodder" like this anymore and American International does not get them and dubb them with this kind of dialogue.
      There is a place for this kind of movie making and while I agree with you, at least it is not produced by a big-name Hollywood studio with a half-billion dollar budget, all for the same results.

    • @Darkness-ie2yl
      @Darkness-ie2yl 2 месяца назад +1

      Even Meryn Trant is embarrassed to be in this

  • @philipwhelan14
    @philipwhelan14 Год назад +77

    Crazy thing about Michael Flately is that he was once the world record fastest feet in the world, a master flautist and a golden gloves champion. He has possibly the largest ego on earth.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +10

      "This gonna be my great comeback like thos rocky movie..."

    • @krashd
      @krashd Год назад +9

      He was a master at farting?

    • @apelike
      @apelike 5 дней назад +1

      It's massive... but I still think the guy that went to the Olympic Committee and said "what the world needs now more than ever is to see me skydive into the closing ceremonies..." -- that guy has the biggest ego.

  • @robbieburns3564
    @robbieburns3564 Год назад +24

    I've never heard of this. LMAO. Neil Breen would be jealous. The one funny thing you didn't mention is the "USB thing" is a metal washer in a SD memory card case. So instead of making this information in a format that can actually be read - no, it's a metal washer they put inside a SD memory card case. Brilliant!

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +6

      Haha they were all outta USBs and the camera guy was like here take this...

  • @ChockHolocaust
    @ChockHolocaust 7 месяцев назад +20

    In case nobody had figured it out, the Monaco Streaming Award he won for this, was from one of his own organisations and was pretty much invented just so it could be awarded to him.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  2 месяца назад +9

      It’s the real life of making a burner account and giving your comment a thumbs up

  • @JackieBGoode
    @JackieBGoode Год назад +292

    Mom, could we get James Bond?
    "We already have James Bond at home"
    The James Bond at home:

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +8

      Haha too true

    • @Biscuitavenger
      @Biscuitavenger Год назад +3

      absolutely perfect analysis

    • @razor6552
      @razor6552 Год назад +2

      A ground beef burger with Wonder Bread buns

    • @J5L5M6
      @J5L5M6 Год назад +5

      @@razor6552 "Welfare Bond"

    • @razor6552
      @razor6552 Год назад +3

      @@J5L5M6
      Government cheese Bond

  • @mnomic8371
    @mnomic8371 Год назад +92

    The woman holding in her laugh looks like the best thing about this film 😂

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +11

      I loved her, she was having such a good time

    • @Laceykat66
      @Laceykat66 Год назад +3

      Hey, at least I want to WATCH this film. How long have you waited to say that lately? At least it could be fun.

    • @zaphbrox8239
      @zaphbrox8239 2 месяца назад +3

      @@crappyfilmfans haha, yeah... I thought I was the only one to spot her so obviously holding her laugh in, but then the arrow popped up, drawing everyone's attention to it.

  • @jocularpaddy
    @jocularpaddy Год назад +71

    You think they found the Irish Steven Seagal?

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +6

      If only he made as many movies, my life would be complete!

    • @SamSherr-Nelson-n9e
      @SamSherr-Nelson-n9e 2 месяца назад +1

      Steven Seagal is the Irish Steven Segal. I was gonna say I can become the Jewish Steven Seagal, but Steven Seagal is already the Jewish Steven Segal
      He once joined a Jewish dating site, and put in his profile he'd "bring home the bacon."

    • @km-ug4dq
      @km-ug4dq Месяц назад

      No, because Michael Flatley isn't Irish.

    • @hotfroganimations
      @hotfroganimations 11 дней назад

      @@SamSherr-Nelson-n9ehe’s gonna take you to the bank…. The blood bank. Get it?

  • @oyeaoyea8555
    @oyeaoyea8555 Год назад +45

    this review is hilarious but i still give credit to michael flatley for following his passion and putting himself out there to be judged - many let the fear of being mocked prevent them from even trying.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +7

      I give credit for him entertaining us

    • @CowboyPants-h5p
      @CowboyPants-h5p 2 месяца назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Dryhten1801
      @Dryhten1801 2 месяца назад

      Uh, no

    • @DRXNESTRIKE
      @DRXNESTRIKE 2 месяца назад

      @@Dryhten1801?

    • @jamesbomd3503
      @jamesbomd3503 2 месяца назад +1

      And it's something he can show his grandchildren Hopefully when they're around 3 or 4 before their brains have properly formed

  • @IUsedToBeAnAdventurerLikeYou
    @IUsedToBeAnAdventurerLikeYou Год назад +30

    Grew up with Lord of the Dance and Riverdance, so when I first heard about this movie I had to laugh a bit. Anyone familiar with Michael Flatley knows the man has a continent sized ego and a film like this can only be a self-insert, Mary Sue fantasy.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +5

      Absolutely, Mary Sue fantasy sums it up perfectly

  • @anthonypc-248
    @anthonypc-248 2 месяца назад +12

    Even this budget could have fed thousands of children for years

  • @CommanderOfTheSun
    @CommanderOfTheSun Год назад +92

    Chandler Bing should've been the main antagonist.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +10

      That could only have improved the movie 🍿

    • @seanryan3020
      @seanryan3020 Год назад +2

      The actor Matthew Perry or the character Chandler Bing?

    • @williammiller3277
      @williammiller3277 Год назад +9

      @@seanryan3020 both. Two additional characters for the movie. But chandler needs to be TERRIFIED of Flatley.

    • @seanryan3020
      @seanryan3020 Год назад

      @@williammiller3277 Bonus!

    • @jaylong4705
      @jaylong4705 Год назад +1

      I don't get it

  • @edgiraffr1352
    @edgiraffr1352 Год назад +29

    Who would have thought the star of the show called “lord of the dance” would be a narcissist?!

  • @doncarlodivargas5497
    @doncarlodivargas5497 Год назад +65

    Now i know what i will do when i become a billionaire,
    make a movie with myself in the main role surrounded by beautiful women

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +4

      hells yeah

    • @jocelynharris-fx8ho
      @jocelynharris-fx8ho 4 месяца назад +3

      He didn't need to make a movie....what do you think the show 'Lord of the Dance' was based on ?

  • @tomcarl8021
    @tomcarl8021 Год назад +48

    My sister was a competition Irish dancer. I used to watch Michael dance when he was fourteen. He was a star in the Irish dancing world long before Riverdance. He had screaming girls and their moms just like Justin Beiber, though on a smaller scale.
    He quit Riverdance right before it became an international sensation. He went out on his own and became a huge star with his own productions. Though, I'm happy for his success and the fact he employed countless Irish dancers, his vision of what Irish dancing is, or could be, is utterly fucking ludicrous.
    He was never satisfied with Irish dancing just simply performed the way it was. His vision was to make it more theatrical and exciting. But he vision was straight out of 1980's Las Vegas. One minute he's dressed like Zorro, and the next like Seigfried and Roy. Lord of the Dance was so stupid, I thought at any time while he's dancing, he could do a magic card trick like David Copperfield.
    He both popularized Irish dance AND turned it into a laughstock.

    • @adambazso9207
      @adambazso9207 2 месяца назад +1

      @@tomcarl8021 I always had this impression too: that his "interpretation " is utterly "kitschy" and looks stupid.

    • @jamesbomd3503
      @jamesbomd3503 2 месяца назад +1

      Seigfried and Roy Had me laughing so much I literally pissed myself he must have fantasised about bringing on a tiger or a white lion while he was hoofing around but there again a tiger or a white lion may have stolen the show
      and the limelight as he was performing

  • @Christian-wr4ge
    @Christian-wr4ge Год назад +38

    I have to admit that it's pretty well shot though. It might be drawing from other movies when it comes to mood and composition, but it's well executed (and which movie doesn't draw from other sources).

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +14

      Yeah it’s well shot, which makes the terrible dialogue, acting and plot even more jarring and funny

    • @kuribayashi84
      @kuribayashi84 3 месяца назад +2

      I wonder if that comes from Flatley having an eye for visuals at least or from him having a genuinely talented DP on hand.

  • @DeclanRyanRising
    @DeclanRyanRising Год назад +31

    This kinda review is given to 95% of first time filmmakers. But it feels so much better when it's about a dorky dance champion rather than your crew member friend who spent a decade on film sets and still blows his 1st attempt.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +7

      Yes but when it’s multimillionaire it’s extra special

  • @TheFiddle101
    @TheFiddle101 Год назад +63

    "We feared you were dead" 'Well, part of me at least" - considering his shyness with those gorgeous women, is it rude to wonder where that dead part may be?

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +11

      It’s the masculine part of him ✅

    • @ThatSockmonkey
      @ThatSockmonkey Год назад

      PENIS! ITS HIS PENIS!

    • @DirectorHMAN
      @DirectorHMAN 2 месяца назад +3

      Would have made for a more interesting sub-plot

  • @mrmusickhimself
    @mrmusickhimself Год назад +16

    I need a movie with Eric Roberts and Nicolas Cage as drug addicted cops, I don't care if it's a sequel to Bad Lieutenant, I NEED IT.

  • @JR-gc5ef
    @JR-gc5ef Год назад +76

    I've watched many reviews of crappy movies from Seagal to Neil Breen that have made me laugh. But this is the first one that horrifies, disgusts and nauseates me. Very Well done.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +5

      I need to dive in to some Seagal reviews! Love that old fool

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      @@CitizenAbel-77 where do I start?? Which is the worst of Seagal?

    • @Metal0sopher
      @Metal0sopher Год назад

      @@crappyfilmfans All of them. Flip a coin.

    • @wet-read
      @wet-read Год назад

      ​@@CitizenAbel-77
      TLJ and Gary Busey made it great!

    • @hafirenggayuda
      @hafirenggayuda Год назад

      ​@@CitizenAbel-77and that mostly because Seagal not have control on that movie, and the director (Andrew Davis) is quite good

  • @JazmynnJones
    @JazmynnJones Месяц назад +8

    He’s still got nothing on Steven Seagal. The actresses can barely hide their disgust when pretending to be head over heals for him. It’s hilarious and sad at the same time.

  • @alexandermikhailov2481
    @alexandermikhailov2481 Год назад +21

    I think Michael Scott has to sue this guy for stealing his Threat Level Midnight. 😂

  • @wiskadjak
    @wiskadjak Год назад +18

    My wife and I watched this movie last night. As you said this "movie" is a pastiche of scenes cloned from real movies. Fight choreography and, to some degree, the jaunty hat angle is from The Quiet Man (1952). The line "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he plays cards." is lifted from Goldfinger where James Bond says "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he plays golf."
    Also, referring to something as "The Formula" is a movie trope that was already cliche when I was a kid in the 1960's.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      Sooo much ripped off and the dialogue was so trash

  • @necrosadotor
    @necrosadotor Год назад +41

    this kind of cinema rules, it's way better than the usual hollywood

  • @seanryan3020
    @seanryan3020 Год назад +18

    "Best portrayal of a secret agent by a constipated Riverdancer."
    That ain't no low-hanging fruit, boy!

  • @hughjass8430
    @hughjass8430 Год назад +11

    Proof that lack of intelligence, self awareness or wit are no impediment to the accumulation of cash

  • @PompeySomerstown
    @PompeySomerstown Год назад +8

    Michael Flatley plays....... Victor Blackley! Genius 😆😆😆

  • @sharpsonmusic
    @sharpsonmusic 2 месяца назад +6

    My friend invited me to see this and didn't tell me what it was. I came in to the film late and missed the start. Imagine my surprise when I was watching this crappy movie and everyone was laughing for no reason for 10 minutes and then all of a sudden, Michael Flatley comes out of nowhere and the penny dropped.

  • @chikkinnuggits
    @chikkinnuggits 2 месяца назад +9

    Back in the 90's, when Flatley was at the height of his fame, Conan Obrien used to throw out little insults towards him. The best bit was when Conan did a fake apology to Flatley, for referring to him not as "The Lord of the Dance," but calling him "Swishy McJackass"

  • @tonygallagher6989
    @tonygallagher6989 Год назад +64

    A narcissistic piece of work which falls embarrassingly short? I know you're talking about the film, but that also perfectly describes Michael Flatley.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +5

      I tip my hat to you sir 🎩

    • @kruk_7279
      @kruk_7279 Год назад

      Is it worse than Barbarella?!

    • @Sangor
      @Sangor Год назад +4

      @@crappyfilmfans I hope that after you tipped it you wore it at a jaunty angle.

    • @audie-cashstack-uk4881
      @audie-cashstack-uk4881 Год назад

      He actually performed a miracle here he made us all tap dance whilst pointing at him

    • @johnmc3862
      @johnmc3862 4 месяца назад +2

      Hardly, a multi millionaire from dancing? I’d take it.

  • @Tore_Lund
    @Tore_Lund Год назад +10

    "The Monaco streaming Award"? Sounds like a title you can buy!

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад

      Lol it’s impossible to get any other info on these awards. Deffo sounds like a buy an award show set up

    • @paulg2733
      @paulg2733 Месяц назад +1

      "The Southend-On-Sea Non Physical Media Award"... That's a free one for the Blackbird sequel

  • @montecristo1845
    @montecristo1845 Год назад +77

    This movie’s very existence is a reminder of how unfair life is for the truly talented and creative.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +13

      Or how hilarious rich ppl can be to assume their good at all things

    • @supremelordoftheuniverse5449
      @supremelordoftheuniverse5449 Год назад

      🎶 Cry me a river 🎶

    • @4879daniel
      @4879daniel 2 месяца назад

      Michael Flatley is hugely talented and creative - just not in films

  • @SlimRhyno
    @SlimRhyno Год назад +11

    This made me fall in love with "Threat Level Midnight" all over again. 🥰 ... Wait, that was the whole point of the video, right?! 🤔

  • @MikeFoxLive
    @MikeFoxLive Год назад +8

    This commentary is simply brilliant! Got up this morning like mehh then watched this and now am so happy!! Thank you for my great day ahead lmao xx

    • @andrewkendall7814
      @andrewkendall7814 Месяц назад

      I guess I'm too old for breakneck speed narration. A few minutes, got the gist, that was more than enough for me.

  • @disf5178
    @disf5178 Год назад +32

    Something tells me his 2 "best ____" awards are from an agency he owns.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +4

      Haha deffo, no way real humans chose him for best acting 🎭

  • @pnoblejr6779
    @pnoblejr6779 12 дней назад +4

    This is the worst thing to happen to birds since cats…..

  • @ZeusMcCormick
    @ZeusMcCormick Год назад +12

    The only thing missing is our hero telling the villain to go puck himself.

  • @purefoldnz3070
    @purefoldnz3070 2 месяца назад +7

    missed opportunity to call this: Tap Another Day.
    "So, Mr. Flatley you live to tap another day."

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  2 месяца назад +1

      Ok I tap out, you win, too many pun opportunities.

    • @purefoldnz3070
      @purefoldnz3070 2 месяца назад +1

      @@crappyfilmfans Flatley will return in... The Tap Who Loved Me: “Nobody does it better… than a tap dancer"

  • @kslique
    @kslique Год назад +11

    At 21:17 you can see the angle of the hat matches the angle of the treeline behind him. That's attention to detail. That's cinema!!!

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +2

      I hear it also matched the angle of his left testicle...

  • @jonstiffer4994
    @jonstiffer4994 Год назад +12

    I read Flatley's autobiography and I'm not that suprised that he made this movie.The book made it quite clear that he thinks very highly of himself. Lord of the Dance was fantatic though and I can't really fault him for making a movie since he can afford it. I probably would too. :)

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад

      The ego has money

    • @jans2887
      @jans2887 2 месяца назад +1

      Michael Flatley wrote an autobiography? LOL 🤣

  • @patrickdoyle2510
    @patrickdoyle2510 Год назад +4

    I salute your fortitude, and as I was watching your review, I was thinking how amazing it would be if this fella and Tommy Wiseau started a film school, to share their pearls with the next generation. Also, I just checked and Flatley's apparently making another film, so this gift intends to keep on a givin'!

  • @kevinpatrickmacnutt
    @kevinpatrickmacnutt 23 дня назад +1

    I just remember Denis Leary referring to Flatley as "A**hole of the Dance". Flatley and Eric Roberts in one movie that is a serious lack of talent.

  • @JasonAWilliams-IS
    @JasonAWilliams-IS Год назад +14

    So bold, so brave, such a great treatment of the subject. Brava!

  • @szilardfineascovasa6144
    @szilardfineascovasa6144 12 дней назад +1

    50 seconds in, I know I got to watch this.
    Ty for your service, but I'll abandon before spoilers!

  • @mrgadget1485
    @mrgadget1485 Год назад +51

    The plot and acting may be ridiculous, but I gotta say it's beautifully shot.

  • @gallery7596
    @gallery7596 2 месяца назад +4

    I remember years ago Larry King asking him who he considered to be the best dancer in the world, and with a grin Flatley said "I am." King asked him if he was interested in a career in movies and Flatley said he'd like to do something like ''Rocky.'' Guess he decided playing James Bond was more his speed.

  • @kildogery
    @kildogery Год назад +14

    That hat change was spectacular.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +2

      Most majestic thing I’ve seen

    • @kildogery
      @kildogery Год назад +2

      @@crappyfilmfans surely a flat cap, makes more sense when driving?
      It's so odd.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +3

      I think the one fatal flaw you’ve made there is using logic and reason

    • @kildogery
      @kildogery Год назад +1

      @@crappyfilmfans he should have switched it backwards and put on some sweet goggles.
      He obviously did the wardrobe himself too. The fool.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      @@kildogery now that's a movie I'd watch!

  • @retroray58warby98
    @retroray58warby98 Год назад +5

    You put a hundred monkeys in a room with a hundred typewriters and eventually they will create Blackbird….or they might just throw shit at each other, which is almost the same result.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад

      Only when those two occur at the same time, and there is enough shit that smears on the script that blackbird can be created...

  • @wimvanderstraeten6521
    @wimvanderstraeten6521 Год назад +14

    Who does Flatley think he is? Steven Seagal?

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +3

      I hope he goes on a movie making spree like Seagal

  • @bpdhoplite
    @bpdhoplite 28 дней назад +2

    FINALLYYYYY OH MY GOD
    I SAW THIS IN CINEMA IN IRELAND AND ITS ONE OF THE GREATEST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN BUT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER SEEN OR CARED ABOUT IT SEEMINGLY
    LETS GOOOOOO

  • @themicrobrandexpert
    @themicrobrandexpert Год назад +6

    The dialogue reminded me of the fake soap that was playing on the TV sets in Max Payne.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      haha so true! Lords and Ladies distracted me too much while playing Payne

  • @gandalainsley6467
    @gandalainsley6467 Год назад +8

    China has a thing with doing these types of movies. There have been multiple Chinese movies where a millionaire hires a known martial arts actor and then has a fight scene with them and then beats them easily. One to came to my mind was a guy who hired Tony Jaa so in the fight scene with his tai chi he could easily beat him. It was odd. I forgot its name but supposedly its a common thing that millionaires in China do.

    • @jumhed994
      @jumhed994 Год назад +3

      Jack Ma who once owned AliBaba, China's Amazon made a movie where he beats up famous Kung Fu people

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      Geeez that’s madness

  • @tahustvedt
    @tahustvedt Год назад +10

    I want a cop duo movie with this guy and Steven Seagal.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +3

      This event would be the singular cause of world peace

  • @ZER0--
    @ZER0-- Месяц назад +2

    I'm worried that I'm going to get lots of River Dance videos in my feed after watching this.

  • @michpemberton2487
    @michpemberton2487 Год назад +10

    I'm allergic to cringe, i'm going to have to watch this in increments.

  • @razor6552
    @razor6552 Год назад +5

    When you order 007 from Wish
    😂

  • @gener2842
    @gener2842 Год назад +6

    This is the best review I have ever witnessed in the history of cinema!!! 😂

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      This is the best comment in the history of comments! (Deffo not paid by me)

    • @gener2842
      @gener2842 Год назад

      @@crappyfilmfans I can attest to the fact that I have no financial relationship with the reviewer

  • @nedim_guitar
    @nedim_guitar 15 дней назад +2

    10:53 What she said cracked me up 😂😂😂

  • @dirtyguava8209
    @dirtyguava8209 Год назад +5

    Cinematography and camera tracking is legit though

  • @jaylong4705
    @jaylong4705 Год назад +8

    Can i just say that Eric Roberts is the man?

  • @arkoisagoodboy
    @arkoisagoodboy Год назад +6

    Got a role for a C-list movie that you're willing to overpay for because you have cash but don't know what a box office draw is? Eric Roberts is your man.

  • @steele41
    @steele41 Год назад +2

    I enjoyed this video so much that I just tried to watch "Birdbrain", er... I mean "Blackbird" tonight and gave up at the 35 minute mark. I couldn't enjoy it, even ironically

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      Yeah there were some large patches of Boring sheeet left out

  • @ObeyCamp
    @ObeyCamp Год назад +7

    Do kids these days know about Michael "The Lord of the Dance" Flatley? His background makes this whole thing much more funny to me.

  • @RetirePhilippines
    @RetirePhilippines 20 дней назад +1

    You had me laughing so hard I paused it half way through bc I didnt want the video to end😂

  • @anthonyyoutubefan7567
    @anthonyyoutubefan7567 Год назад +11

    Now, I'm interested to see this thing. I'll bet it's a better cinematic experience than The Last Jedi and The Rise Of Palpatine. Thank you, Sir.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +2

      Indeed, add it to those masterpieces!

    • @zamar2158
      @zamar2158 Год назад +1

      Yes, I could laugh at this. The star wars murder was too much to handle.

  • @avidodd26
    @avidodd26 Год назад +1

    >nonsensical captions that i can't turn off
    i'm so excited to watch your content!

  • @nobodyfromnowwhere7510
    @nobodyfromnowwhere7510 Год назад +5

    I don't think any spy movie can be worse than Double Down.
    You just can't compete with Neil Breen when it comes to sheer, insane, complete incoherence.

  • @nitrokid
    @nitrokid 15 дней назад +1

    Vanity project films are always a treat 😂😂😂 Because they're never not ridiculous.

  • @MrUnboxerVideos
    @MrUnboxerVideos 2 месяца назад +5

    The real conundrum, is does he himself think its great, and sits and watches it himself often?

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  2 месяца назад +1

      I’m pretty sure he’s hard watching himself

    • @MrUnboxerVideos
      @MrUnboxerVideos 2 месяца назад +1

      @@crappyfilmfans what a strange bloke

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  2 месяца назад +1

      @@MrUnboxerVideos Agreed

  • @Moviesan69
    @Moviesan69 Год назад

    Thank you for making this, I remember seeing an ad for this movie years ago and had completely forgotten about it while somehow always being curious about it 😂

  • @mrdarklight
    @mrdarklight Месяц назад +8

    Why do people force subtitles in these videos?

  • @pesokpesok
    @pesokpesok 3 месяца назад +3

    One of those movies where everyone roots for the villain, perfect SBIG Vanity project!

  • @Zholat
    @Zholat 2 дня назад +1

    If this guy cut all of us an equal piece o his ego, he'd have enough left to still think young hot chicks want him for his looks and dazzling charms.

  • @terrencezellers9105
    @terrencezellers9105 Год назад +9

    At the climax "shall we dance" you need to point out that there's a well known trope (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly) "If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

  • @Hectorsdad
    @Hectorsdad 2 месяца назад

    Thanks so much for this review. Cheered me up no end. My thanks to the production too as they provided the ammunition. 🤣

  • @liamburge463
    @liamburge463 Год назад +6

    David Beattie (Nick in this movie) is actually a really good guy and it's a shame he's gets some crap movies.
    I met him a few years ago and had a chat with him about his time on GoT, truly a stand up guy and he does a good amount of work even before filming and he's actually a good actor.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      Nick and the telephone box guy were the best actors from the film. I do feel sorry for them

    • @colmwhateveryoulike3240
      @colmwhateveryoulike3240 Год назад +1

      Who was he in GoT?

    • @daybidbanderbecht5299
      @daybidbanderbecht5299 Год назад +1

      @@colmwhateveryoulike3240 He played Sir Meryn Trant. The actor's name is actually Ian Beattie(not David) I'm a bit hazy on GoTs plot details nowadays but he was Joffrey's King's Guard (I think) and one of the people on Arya's list of people to kill. She ends up taking him out in one of the later crappy seasons or smth once she levels up her assassin skills. He played a good scumbag if I recall but I barely remember that show since it started sucking the last few seasons.

    • @colmwhateveryoulike3240
      @colmwhateveryoulike3240 Год назад

      @@daybidbanderbecht5299 Thanks! I have zero recollection of that character even after looking up pictures.

  • @ditzygypsy
    @ditzygypsy Год назад +1

    What did the budget go to? Well, the HATS, of course!! 😂😂 This review was absolutely sublime. ♥️🤣

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад

      Thanks 😂😂😂

    • @grazie-dc6we
      @grazie-dc6we Год назад

      That professional hat balancer was worth every penny though!

  • @trafalgerdavis7839
    @trafalgerdavis7839 Год назад +7

    Bwhahahahahaha!!! Great send up. Saddest thing is, Eric Roberts was and is a pretty good actor, but man, I guess a pay check is a pay check.

  • @dukecity7688
    @dukecity7688 2 месяца назад +1

    I forgot about this guy. Lard of the Dance. You made my day with this. The stupid, jaunty hats, Does he want to convey he's just an old song and dance man? Him walking on the beach is right from Fire Island in the 80's. I always found him to be a conceited creep. This confirms my feelings about the guy. This was fun.

  • @robertodell9193
    @robertodell9193 Год назад +4

    I have to admit that "Clean up on aisle 5" is actually a pretty good quip.

    • @crappyfilmfans
      @crappyfilmfans  Год назад +1

      I could deffo see it used in a 90s Arnold flick

  • @themanwithinflatableknees8770
    @themanwithinflatableknees8770 10 дней назад

    I am utterly disgusted that I haven't heard of you before. I have just laughed myself hoarse and am binge watching your stuff. Brilliant.

  • @ruijikisu
    @ruijikisu Месяц назад +3

    its terrible, but theres something i respect about rich people doing this sort of thing
    its kinda...cute that someone with a lot of money would make a movie where they are james bond, thats like what a child would say theyd do if they had a lot of money